How to Make Time for Ourselves
My son, Chris, and I have been making health goals together each month for years. I wrote about our experiences with this in my Health Goal Diary here on the blog. It has made a big difference in our health habits, especially with diet and exercise.
It has been beneficial to both of us. Age doesn’t matter. Besides keeping us healthy, it has kept our weight down and made us look our best.
We took a break when the weather got cold in the fall and the holidays rolled around. We got busy, sick, and then surrounded by holiday feasts and goodies.
When we decided to take a break from making health goals, we had a conversation about how overwork was taking a toll on us. Self care was lost in the shuffle and we needed to find time for ourselves and our needs. It was a goal that has not been easy to achieve.
Intending to think about what I needed to do to make time for myself, I dove right back into my work and never gave it another thought. So I’m taking a moment in writing this post about self care to explore what I need to do that I haven’t been doing all this time. I’m hoping this will be helpful to you as well.
Included is:
- What happens when we don’t make time for ourselves?
- Personal examples, both unsuccessful and successful.
- The basics of self care.
- Self-care tips based on specific needs.
- 20 general self-care tips.
As you read on, you’ll find more and more helpful information beyond what you might already think of, which I hope will inspire you with some helpful ideas.
What Happens When We Don’t Make Time for Ourselves?
As we try to cope with the world around us, it is seriously important for our physical and mental health to be aware of our needs and even schedule them into our lives.
Shainna Ali Ph.D., LMHC, at Psychology Today wrote, “Neglecting your personal needs can cause you to suffer from deterioration in wellness and self-love. For example, you may notice increases in anxiety, distractibility, anger, and fatigue. You may also experience decreases in sleep, relationship satisfaction, self-esteem, empathy, and compassion. Ongoing exposure to stress without proper self-care can put you at risk for serious consequences such as depression and heart disease.”
My father was a devoted caregiver to my mother when she was sick and dying from cancer. His own needs were pushed to the back burner more and more over the years. His physical and emotional distress caused him to die of a heart attack just weeks before Mom died. At Dad’s funeral, a friend of ours who was a physician told us that it was common for the caregiver to die first.
So I would conclude from that experience that we can start by recognizing and asking for what we need. What we need may be a buddy system when exercising or support for sticking to a healthy diet or quiet time alone without interruptions. It may be that you need support for pursuing a goal that’s important to you.
Support from others is helpful when we are struggling to accomplish something for ourselves. But first, we have to think about what we need, devise a plan and ask for the backup. It has long been said that scheduling exercise into your calendar helps to get it done, for instance.
I never made a plan for self care, but Chris managed to accomplish some things.
I asked Chris if he made any progress with self care since we talked about it.
He feels like he’s making progress because he has decided on where and how he wants to be spending his time, such as: not working late hours into the night unless it’s absolutely necessary, going to the gym, seeing friends, needing time for himself. Chris even took a short vacation to Amsterdam.
He gets to the gym. But it’s for a week or two only once, then regularly, then not. He just tries to squeeze it in wherever he possibly can. Like today, he was unexpectedly taken to the movies, ate the butteriest popcorn, and some fruit punch…instead of getting to the gym. But it was worth it! He is planning his route in the morning between meetings to stop at the gym. He said that just having a gym bag in the car ready to go is a great help.
The Basics of Self Care
It’s important to take care of your body, mind and soul every day. When we don’t, our body will force us to take a break by getting sick. The basic needs for good health are:
- Eating right,
- Exercising regularly,
- Getting enough sleep,
- Reducing stress, and
- Taking time out when you need it.
Self-Care Tips Based on Specific Needs
- When work and a shortage of time are the problem: the answer is to carve out time for ourselves. If you are over-committed, try to think if there are things that you need to let go. Ask yourself which activities and relationships are truly adding value to your life, and intentionally make space for those things.
- When you’re not getting enough exercise: do something that energizes your body. Stretch, swim, run, do yoga, or whatever physical activity you enjoy. It’s easier to get more exercise if you decide what you love to do and plan on it. This could include something like turning on your favorite dance music and shaking out the stress.
- When you’re on the run and don’t have time to cook: try to pack healthy snacks and look for restaurants and delivery services that have healthier offerings. Avoid emotional eating by thinking about what you really need or rewarding yourself in other ways. Eat green; eat real foods raw, not processed.
- When your social life is suffering: schedule time for friends and fun, just like you schedule time for work projects. Don’t be afraid to ask someone to meet you at the last minute. Even if they can’t, they’ll most likely be glad you asked.
- When you feel like you need a vacation but can’t get away: taking a self-care trip can make a big difference in your life. Even if you can’t take a complete vacation or a trip far away, getting away for a weekend every now and then can help you disconnect, relax, and rejuvenate yourself. These trips don’t have to be costly. You can simply drive to the next town and see the sights, or go camping nearby. The goal is to take a break from your normal schedule and take the time to do something just for yourself.
20 General Self-Care Tips
- Cook at home whenever possible. Even if it’s only once a week, consider making a healthy meal for yourself or your whole family.
- Enjoy a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine.
- Go for a run or a light jog and/or stretch out the kinks.
- Spend time outside. Fresh air, sunshine and the beauty of nature is calming. Hiking, gardening or walking outside refreshes you and helps you to sleep better.
- Meditate or do deep breathing for five minutes.
- Take a nap, go to bed earlier, allow time for some extra sleep or just zoning out.
- Start a journal. Write out your thoughts. Try taking ten minutes in the morning to jot down whatever is in your mind, and leave it in the notebook.
- Take a break when you need it. If possible, take a full day off to just rest and do whatever you feel like doing.
- Choose who you spend time with. Spend quality time with a quality person. Hang out with someone you love. If they’re far away, give them a phone call.
- Laugh heartily at least once a day.
- Learn to politely say no to others when you need to say yes to yourself.
- Stop overthinking.
- Spend time with your pet, for a minute or an hour.
- Get organized. A small change, like keeping a planner or a calendar on the fridge, can help you write down all your responsibilities and appointments to keep your life more organized. You can also create an area to keep keys, purses, backpacks, briefcases, and coats, so they’re ready to go the next day.
- Take a long, warm bath. You might also like to light a candle, read a magazine and/or listen to soothing music while you soak away your cares.
- Write down all the things you’re grateful for each day. Try to think of at least three good things every day.
- Unplug for a day or even just an hour. Go on a media and technology fast by turning off your electronic devices.
- Do something new. Have you been considering learning a new skill or trying a new hobby? Go for it.
- Read a book on self care.
- Give your body a treat. Pick something from your wardrobe that feels great next to your skin.
Let’s Connect
Do you like any of these ideas? Are you successful with your own self care, or do you feel like you could do better? What do you do to make sure you’re taking care of yourself? I would love to hear about what works for you and what doesn’t. Please share with us in the comments below.
Like this post? You might also like to read other entries in my Health Goal Diary here.
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Angie
What an inspiring post, Angie! So many wonderful ways to take time for oneself!
And there are so many important ways to do that for ourselves! I feel that these are essentials of life that we just have to keep in mind…
Fantastic post, Angie. Such important ideas and helpful tips for everyone! Glad your son took a break and went to Amsterdam, one of my favorite places
Thanks, Allison. I hope to find some places to go that my husband will like and agree to! Lol
I LOVED your post, Angie! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your personal experiences in self-care. When I want but cannot get vacation, I read fiction. Usually it is something that transports me somewhere I have yet to visit. I think about elements of my current during my daytime activities, as well as before falling asleep. More often than not, my dreams then take me to scenes from the book. They don’t call reading an escape for nothing!
Traveling to other worlds through books is an excellent idea to add to self care! Taking time to read is relaxing and, yes, it can take you places. 🙂